Sunday, 26 September 2010

Last night was a night with mixed fortunes.

Ended up supporting my friend because he got thrown out of his house because apparently his room was dirty, kind of pathetic reason if you ask me. Then went OUT. This is where the problems began...

At first it was ok. In a local club, playing snooker and pool, watching the Barcelona football game and having a decent time. Then He decides to get drunk and wants to go to a different bar where there were "girls". Now on the face of things, this doesn’t seem like a bad idea. But couple the fact that I already have a GF and the fact that my own mother was out in town with her friends too, and you have a recipe for potential disaster (sober disaster).

When we arrived at out new destination we had walked into what could only be described as "cougar land". We are 21 year old males and there’s just something about 21 year old males that middle-aged women find very attractive. What was even more disturbing is that my mother was among them. Rather than be Beta as fuck and try and hide to avoid any embarrassment, I seen the opportunity for some free drinks. 

This was a bad move because in order to get to my mum, I had to run a gauntlet of grannies through the dance floor to get to her. I’m all for being told i'm cute and adorable but what I have a problem with is a large woman in her late 40s wearing tight leggings and a low cut top grinding me and saying, "come here toy boy". I suddenly reverted back into beta mode and hid out in the smoking area for most of the night, counting down the minutes till I had to go and pick my girlfriend up from a concert. All the while my friend who is usually a fan of the older wimminz is also curled up in the corner with a cougar beside him and stroking his leg.

Time came to leave and go and get the girlfriend. Fantastic! I hear you say.
Well I ended up scraping the car in a supermarket car park and I hit a parked car and smashed my passenger side mirror.

To top it off, when we got home, my plan of action was to watch the X-factor with her and then try and instigate some sexan. 

She fell asleep with my arms around her and left me with blue balls. I couldn’t even move because she was on top of me.

Any alpha would just move her but I love her too much for that.


  1. >large woman in her late 40s wearing tight leggings and a low cut top grinding me and saying, "come here toy boy"

  2. Dang, that sucks big monkey balls

  3. haha i know exactly what ur talkin about.

  4. I was waiting for the Bel Air ending...

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  6. The thought of cougars is going to haunt me for the rest of the day. Thanks

  7. The poster reaction just made my day. Thank you, sir!

  8. That's actually so sweet ;_;